| GRE studying |
[Aug. 4th, 2007|12:15 pm] |
Me: I get a 90% right on algebra, but only a 40% right on antonyms? ... what's it called? With the relations?
Liza: Analogies?
Me: Yeah...
Liza: You're fucked. |
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| puffins |
[Mar. 30th, 2007|11:19 am] |
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This morning, and I made a dare that I couldn't finish her box of Puffins Peanut Butter cereal. I made a valient effort, and I ate like a bowl and a half using two percent milk, but she won and now I owe her $5 (and, implicitly, this livejournal update). |
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| holy shit this taste good |
[Mar. 6th, 2007|05:22 pm] |
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2 blueberry tea bags
1 can rockstar energy drink
ice cubes
frozen blueberries
Pour approx. 2 cups boiling water over tea bags in heatproof container; let steep ten minutes. Pour tea into pitcher. Add energy drink. Put 1/2 tray ice cubs and a handful of frozen blueberries into a mug. Pour drink/tea mixture over. Enjoy. |
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| oh no!!!! |
[Feb. 28th, 2007|09:54 pm] |
I just checked out ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) liza_ad_nauseam's el jay and apparently she wants to break up with me!!! I just cancelled our relationship on facebook, now all that's left is to wait for her to sign online so we can confirm the breakup via AIM ... thank god for technology. |
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| oh, susquehanna! |
[Feb. 26th, 2007|07:58 pm] |
With every trace of life, it seems, confined within a frame, the faces move from day to day but the strips all look the same.
I rarely get attached to songs especially from groups I barely know but this one gets stuck in my head and I write the lyrics in the margins of my Leibniz notebook. I decided to stop drinking and I was looking forward very much to a weekend without hangovers etc. but I came down with a cold on Friday so I spent the weekend tired and napping and wanting to just watch TV, which is very much like being hungover. The headache and sore throat is gone but my nose is doing that awful congested thing where one nostril is stuffed and I can't breathe through it and the other nostril is dry and hurts.
Hot, right?
And it feels like this could all come to no good. The kids who populate these culdesacs will never know what stood beneath those cookie cutter houses: fields and streams and woods.
Buffalo this weekend was good in terms of seeing my mom and my sister but depressing in terms of everything else. It seems like a shell of a city. Empty houses and streets. The snow is piled up and hides street signs and turns sometimes. The trees don't look the same after the bluricanne (thundersnow? snowtrina?) since so many of the branches were destroyed. Even in the winter you can tell that something isn't right. We went outlet shopping. It made me think of the time I went there with Katie and Dave I guess a year and a half ago? It seems so much longer since then. But I don't know exactly what's changed, only that it's changed a lot.
We walk at the paths at the banks of the mighty Susquehanna, with our feet made muddy by your tributaries that trickle their way to the Chesapeake.
I'm having trouble concentrating today. I know I need to email my Hum II professor and talk to him because I'm still thinking about dropping the class but I don't want to do so without talking to him first. I've never dropped a class before. And what do I expect him to say, really? We had a test on Thursday and I didn't finish it. I think it's the first time I've ever just not finished a test. It was a weird feeling. Then again, I do leave a lot of things unfinished. |
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| when i get sad, i look on NYC CL casual encounters, and i become happy |
[Feb. 8th, 2007|03:15 pm] |
Seek Midget Female for Sex - m4w - 47
I am a white male seeking a midget for sex, or, if not a midget someone extremely petite.
Deutsche Frauen sind Geil - m4w - 32 (Downtown) Nicht so typisch Ami will kontact aufnehmen mit einen Attrakive Deutsche Frau die in NYC wohnt.
Mich: 183 cm, 90 kilo, sehr nett und hoefflich, Deutsche eltern, Braune Haare, Hasel Augen,
Foto fuer Foto
PS: Ich kann fliesend reden aber schriftlich na Ja es geht.
K9 sex with a dog? - m4w - 35Any women on here ever secretly fanatsize that they had a dog and could secretly get fucked, hard and fast, ever night while home alone? Calling him into your room, pulling the shades down so no one could see into your bedroom.
Email me if you have fantasized about that.
Fat obese man is desprete for any woman. - m4w - 18 looking for any woman to have some nsa fun, i dont care if your fat or ulgy just be disease free. |
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| i kind of like the kinsey scale better |
[Feb. 3rd, 2007|01:37 pm] |
Bi/Slightly Straight
You scored 2 (-52 being completely gay, 0 being bisexual, and 52 being completely straight) | | For the most part, you are bisexual. You have a slight preference for the opposite gender, but either gender would suit you. If you are sexually inexperienced, it is possible that this will change after you do some experimenting. |  |
My test tracked 1 variable How you compared to other people your age and gender: | You scored higher than 99% on Orientation |
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my favorite questions included the word "fondle". |
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| am i just more attractive when i'm drunk? |
[Jan. 29th, 2007|08:08 pm] |
do boys have like a 6th sense for when you're tipsy? seriously. or am i just more attractive when i'm drunk(ish)?
example a: ten minutes ago, walking into the library for work (slightly drunk, on a monday night, YUM). and this guy held the door open for me so i said thank you and smiled. and he said (in a weird suave-ish way with a smirk) if there's anything else i can do for you, let me know.
i have an idea. DON'T HIT ON GIRLS AT THE LIBRARY.
there are neutral spaces in this world, where it is not okay for anyone to hit on anyone else. and there are spaces that are the opposite of neutral. an example of the latter is any basement in which people are drinking. it doesn't have to be a frathouse basement. just, any basement, where ppl are drinking, it is totally fine to hit on anyone. or a protest. everyone hits on everyone else at a protest. "YOU DON'T LIKE BUSH OMG I DON'T LIKE BUSH EITHER HOW CRAZY I FOUND YOU HERE AT UNION SQUARE AT THIS PROTEST AGAINS BUSH????" an example of a neutral space would be at a wake, or in the doctor's office, or the doors to the library, or any of the quiet spaces at the library. then there are the spaces in between those two extremes, where it is sometimes okay, and sometimes not okay, like coffeeshops and bookstores.
okay, end rant, i have to drink some green tea so i can help people write papers (& get paid for it).
xoxo, kitty |
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| life etc. |
[Jan. 22nd, 2007|10:29 pm] |
last night i got high and ate an empty pie crust bathed in strawberry syrup. the reason i had an empty pie crust was because grocery shopping high is more difficult than you would think, and i ended up with all of the ingredients for one cheesecake, but no electric mixer with which to mix those ingredients, and two pie crusts.
it was rewarding in its own way but i woke up in the morning with a stomach ache.
also, the gods of free wireless internet have stopped shining on me. 3hotchicks has disappeared! actually, all of the networks i used to mooch off of have disappeared. so, i'm at the library. i don't know whether or not i'm going to get internet back in my apartment. right now it's only a pain in the ass on the weekends, but during the week it's not a big deal since i'm on campus anyway for class and for work, so i just use the internet there (here?).
oh, and i'm not crazy about any of my classes. i don't hate any of them, but i don't particularly like any of them either.
i haven't seen dave kelly yet this semester : (. and now i feel weird going because i haven't been writing anything, besides what i had to write for creative non-fiction, which i don't count because it all just seems really rehashed to me. i'm not crazy about the creative non-fiction genre (if it can even be called that) and so i feel kind of stuck.
german's pretty good, though. i'm learning a lot about english grammar.
one more thing: after playing monopoly twice in two weeks, i'm officially sick of it. |
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| <3 |
[Jan. 18th, 2007|03:24 pm] |
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i like pleasure spiked with pain and music is my aeroplane |
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| semester's classes |
[Jan. 15th, 2007|02:29 pm] |
Creative Non-Fiction Writing I - Eng. 305 Tuesdays, Thursday 9:55 - 11:10
Directed Study, Narrative Poetry - Eng. 399 Whenever I want. One small problem: I'm not sure I know really what narrative poetry is, besides that I sometimes write it, according to Sir Dave Kelly
Intermediate German - Germ 202 Mondays, Wednesdays 4:00 - 5:15. Taking this pass/fail, since I barely remember any German.
Hum II - Hum 221 Tuesdays, Thursdays 8:05 - 9:45
Seminar: Leibniz - Phil 398 Mondays, Wednesdays 2:30 - 3:45
So, I'm thinking about:
auditing a class on thomas pynchon
possibly adding a theatre class, either american theatre or theatre of genocide
freaking out about this being my last semester
pretending to look for jobs
volunteering at a hospice
trying to get an internship at a women's shelter |
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| ??? |
[Jan. 14th, 2007|10:21 am] |
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thanks to clothing companies trying to make women feel better about themselves through the way their body looks, at the mall yesterday i went DOWN a size from late middle school/high school, despite having gained weight. there's something i just don't like about that. |
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| back |
[Jan. 13th, 2007|12:21 pm] |
I'm back at school, which means that I'm back to stealing wireless from my neighbors. They decided to name their unsecured wireless network "3hotchicks". When my roomate & I first started stealing from them it was somewhat stressful; when the little "3hotchicks" bubble pops up I always think I'm somehow going to end up with porn on my computer.
I typed in "3hotchicks" to google image search, and this is the first thing that came up: 
Who knows? Maybe that's them. Thanks for the internet, guys. |
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| count it |
[Jan. 10th, 2007|09:05 pm] |
hey hey, i went to boston from friday to monday, it was totally flippin' sweet and i didn't leave any of my stuff in kyle's room the way i thought i was going to.
i know ferrets aren't what you usually think of when you think "road trip" "boston" and "unitarians" but that defined much of the trip. that and being really drunk.
yeah, that drunk. i remember the cash money necklace but i don't remember posing with a broom. note the sweet hat (i think it was taylor's?). i also don't know who took this picture ... ?
anyway, it was a successful trip. it was also disconcertingly warm. oh, and i got addicted to 24, we watched 7 episodes in a row the last night we were there.
tomorrow morning i head back to geneseo. i don't want to leave home since it's just been awesome going to the gym, eating good expensive food, hanging out with friends, watching csi: miami, reading dostoyevski, and pretending to be a bored housewife. usually by this point in break i'm tired of all the stuff but now i'm just so settled.
one day, i will have someone to provide for me. perhaps that someone will be liza. and i will go to the gym and be addicted to either prescription drugs or alcohol, or possibly both. my child will possibly be ashamed of me, not least because i will name him "bobbie." these things don't matter to me.
that totally hot guy on the right is who we (there were four of us, plus three ferrets) stayed with. note our totally sweet facial expressions from 2 + years ago and a lot of boredom.
okay. bye long island! at least for another couple of months.
<3 <3 monk |
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| a rare bout of insomnia |
[Jan. 5th, 2007|04:22 am] |
I've been up for just about two hours now, give or take five minutes. I had a really weird dream that involved a lot of water and Neutral Milk Hotel's album On Avery Island. After I woke up from it I lay in bed for an hour, trying to fall back asleep. Nothing worked. So around 3:30 I texted Liza (not an easy task in my house, I don't get service so it took forever to send) and then deleted my sister's numbers out of the phone she gave me.
Aww, my dad just checked on me : )
So then I tried to go back to sleep again which didn't work and now I feel really awake and kind of uncomfortable ... like I just can't get comfortable. I know I should be trying to do something productive but ... that never works at 4:30 am, does it?
I went to sleep early last night (11ish) because I was exhausted and so I could get up early to pack. My alarm is set for 7. I have to pack and make some phone calls and Jed is picking me up at 10 to go to Boston. Which I was more excited about before. Now I'm more neutral (thank you, 4:30 am lj updates). I wonder what my dream meant. It was raining and the Hazeltine parking lot was flooded, and I was walking with Liz and a man (I don't know who), and we were talking about Neutral Milk Hotel and I think Jung, there was some connection with the water, and I kept picturing what I now realize is the album cover for In the Aeroplane Over the Sea: 
Water images mean something specific in dreams but I don't know what. Oh, and the man we were walking with started talking about driving (to school, maybe?) thru California, the shitty inside part where all the cattle farms are, and how he just threw up a lot in the back seat while in the front there was a driver (male) and a girl, and the girl kept giving him towels. That was actually when I woke up.
The cool thing about the water part, is that there were all these connections between the water and Neutral Milk Hotel and the philosopher (who we never identified as Jung, but that's the best description of what we meant), also maybe something about an island -- tho that could have just been from the album. It was dark out, and raining.
It's weird because usually if I have a dream that wakes me up and keeps me up it's a nightmare, not just something slightly wacky. Hmm. Well, if you are reading this, you should go on AIM, because I'm on AIM and I'm bored.
<3 |
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| my morning |
[Jan. 3rd, 2007|03:12 pm] |
I woke up early-ish. My sore throat (+blisters on roof of mouth) were gone, as was my headache. My mom still made me go to the doctor. Before I left I uploaded some pictures of Liza's teddy bear, Honey Joe. I made my facebook picture.
Anyway, I don't like this doctor. She's a pediatrician and my mom used to work in her office. The last time I saw her (two years ago?) she treated me like I was fifteen and made completely unneccesary comments about my eating habits.
I'm pretty small and I exercise. Not crazy, just more than a lot of people I know. But I eat a lot. Since she's small too it bothered me that she kept slipping in comments about me not eating properly. Not that she outright said anything -- it would just be such bullshit -- but these little small comments that grated me a lot.
Luckily, this time she was really nice, and since I wasn't sick anymore there wasn't much she could do, besides make my mother happy and test me for strep (negative). She did say, though, that there is a virus going around which would explain my week-long sore throat and slight temperature.
Then, they didn't make me pay the co-pay. : ) $20. Sweet. I guess they knew my mom made me go.
So then I went to the gym. The last time I was at the gym I had taken an adderall and ran/walked four miles in 45 minutes. I was going to try to do that again, minus the adderall. What I realized today was that the adderall gave me a little bit of energy -- but that wasn't what made the four miles go by. What made them go by was how interesting the fucking music videos they play on New York Sports Club were. I didn't get bored watching them, then. This time, I was ready to pull out my hair I was so fucking bored. ::insert Good Charlotte music video here::
I got off the treadmill after twentysomething minutes and 2.25 miles. Whatever. It was the first time in a while I didn't spend 45 minutes on the treadmill. I also hadn't eaten breakfast, and I forgot a water bottle. Smart, right?
Starbucks was the obvious place to go. On vacations sometimes I feel like a yuppie stay-at-home mom, minus the kids. Gym, starbucks, home to eat rolled up turkey and cucumbers dipped in mustard.
Yum.
At starbucks I got my drink for free since Sean's stepbrother was working there. I was all discombobulated from the gym and so I forgot to ask for ice water. Then I felt stupid going back because I was afraid Bryan would think I was just trying to talk to him again. Or something. I also couldn't go back to get food after I had been at starbucks for a while since I didn't want him to think he had to give me that for free, too. Basically, I tried to avoid any awkward situation possible.
I wonder if he knows that Sean & I aren't on speaking terms anymore. I don't think he does. I kind of wish he knew.
At starbucks I drank my soy chai latte and read The Idiot and sat in exactly the same seat Liza had sat in the other day, and I evesdropped on two women talking about one of them getting acupuncture for fertility problems. Since the summer I've been feeling very maternal whenever there are little kids around. I wonder if that will get better or worse once I'm in my thirties. Before those two showed up, there were two other women with two daughters that were running around and eating cookies. Maybe two or three years old. One of them had on leopard print leggings.
Finally I got bored of The Idiot and left. Best to leave out of the side door, or the front door? If I leave out the front door, then I might see Bryan again. On the other hand, perhaps he would find me rude if he saw me leave out the side door and not say goodbye.
I went out the front door. Bryan had already left work. |
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| cara & i are making barcelona plans tomorrow |
[Dec. 25th, 2006|11:40 pm] |
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and I am soooooooooo excited! I'm making a list of places I want to see, and things I want to do, and I'm trying to figure out where to stay. Is it weird getting excited three months in advance? I don't care. Barcelona has a PIRATE MUSEUM!!!!! |
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| ... |
[Dec. 22nd, 2006|10:58 am] |
There must be quite a few things a hot bath won't cure, but I don't know many of them. Whenever I'm sad I'm going to die, or so nervous I can't sleep, or in love with somebody I won't be seeing for a week, I slump down just so far and then I say: "I'll go take a hot bath."
I meditate in the bath. The water needs to be very hot, so hot you can barely satnd putting your foot in it. Then you lower yourself, inch by inch, till the water's up to your neck.
I remember the ceiling over every bathtub I've stretched out in. I remember the texture of the ceilings and the cracks and the colors and the damp spots and the light fixtures. I remember the tubs, too: the antique griffin-legged tubs, and the modern coffin-shaped tubs, and the fancy pink marble tubs overlooking indoor lily ponds, and I remember the shapes and sizes of the water taps and the different sorts of soap holders.
I never feel so much myself as when I'm in a hot bath.
I lay in that tub on the seventeenth floor of this hotel for-women-only, high up over the jazz and push of New York, for near onto an hour, and I felt myself growing pure again. I don't believe in baptism or the waters of Jordan or anything like that, but I guess I feel about a hot bath the way those religious people feel about holy water.
I said to myself: "Doreen is dissolving, Lenny Shepherd is dissolving, Frankie is dissolving, New York is dissolving, they are all dissolving away and none of them matter any more. I don't know them, I have never known them and I am very pure. All that liquor and those sticky kisses I saw and the dirt that settled on my skin on the way back is turning into something pure."
The longer I lay there in the clear hot water the purer I felt, and when I stepped out at last and wrapped myself in one of those big, soft white hotel bath towels I felt pure and sweet as a new baby.
from Sylvia Plath's The Bell Jar |
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| my busy schedule has freed up enough so I can start posting in here again |
[Dec. 20th, 2006|07:32 pm] |
aka, it's christmas break and I'm bored.
last night was pretty fucked up. but now it's the next night, and I just got out of a warm bath, and things are returning to what it seems they should be.
also, new york sports club is preventing me from turning into a blob of half-digested snickerdoodle cookies. thank god for gyms, the crowds collectively shame you into working out.
that's all for now. ::end transmission:: |
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